xx-- BLONDE COOK BOOK -- >>

Blonde Cookbook 

It's fun to cook for Marvin. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me the extra bowls.

He wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when he brought a friend 

home for supper. 

A good day for rice--the recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any. 

Today he asked for salad again I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Asked me why I was rolling around in the garden. 

I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it.. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left. 

He did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I don't have any clothes that fit it, and for some reason he keeps counting to ten. 

I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment. 

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very

exciting week! I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe. If I can talk him into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with a chocolate moose. 

xx-- GOLF -- >>

A priest and a nun were taking a rare afternoon off  And enjoying a round of golf.  The priest stepped up to the first tee and took a mighty swing.  He missed the ball entirely and said "Shit, I missed."  The good Sister told him to watch his language.  On his next swing, he missed again. "Shit, I missed."  "Father, I'm not going to play with you if you keep swearing,"  The nun said tartly..  The priest promised to do better and the round continued.  On the 4th tee, he misses again. The usual comment followed.  Sister is really mad now and says, "Father John, God is going  To strike you dead if you keep swearing like that."  On the next tee, Father John swings and misses again.  "Shit, I missed."  A terrible rumble is heard and a gigantic bolt of lightning comes  Out of the sky and strikes Sister Marie dead in her tracks.

And from the sky comes a booming voice ...

"Shit, I missed."

xx-- A Day At The Dog Race... -- >>

♥ - " What a Coincidence " - ♥

A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.. The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!' 'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me.... I am celebrating' 'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!' says the woman. 'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?' 'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!' 'What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.' 'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?' 'I used a different cock,' he replied. The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'