Before anyone who might read this complain about the list, please note that it was from a guy friend. As a woman, I thought it was kind of amusing in the way that things have more than a kernel of truth tend to be.
Nicknames:
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike , Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
Eating out:
* When the bill arrives, Mike , Dave and John will each throw in P200, even though it’s only for P532.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
Money:
* A man will pay P200 for a P100 item he needs.
* A woman will pay P100 for a P200 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
Bathrooms:
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream , razor, a bar of soap, and a towel …
* The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
Arguments:
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Future:
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband..
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Success:
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Marriage:
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
Dressing up:
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals .
Natural:
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Offspring:
* Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends , favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Furthermore:
# You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife.
# You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
# You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
# Your last name stays put.
# Wedding plans take care of themselves.
# Chocolate is just another snack.
# Car mechanics tell you the truth.
# You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
# Same work, more pay.
# Wrinkles add character.
# Wedding dress P5000. Tux rental P500.
# One mood all the time.
# A five-day vacation only requires one suitcase.
# You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
# If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
# Your underwear is P99.95 for a three-pack.
# The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
# Your belly usually hides your big hips.
# One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
# You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
# And finally, you can be President.
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