xx-- Jokes -- >>

BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.

GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple

BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon?

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there?

SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning
Kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the
Cigarette out of his mouth.

MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.

WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
And comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both
Ears and comes out of the mouth.

MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andrew says I'm ugly. What
Do u think,
Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.

 Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and
No one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again
Yesterday".

 Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun
Or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need
It but the sun gives us light only in the day time
When we don't need it".

Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on
Talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".

Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
Customer : "What other colors do you have?"

My father is so old that when he was in school,
History was called current affairs.

Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father
Is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman".

Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father
That I've failed?"
David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
Past year's performance repeated".

Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a
Donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be
Showing?"
Student : "Brotherly love".

 Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
Prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
Cook".

Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering
Doctor?"
Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show
That nine out of ten people die of the disease you
Have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others
All died".

Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
COINCIDENCE?"
One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married
On the same day and at the same time."

Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped
Down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand.

Have a nice day!